2 Combs

E: I have 2 combs

Me: Why

E: One for morning and one for night time.

She may be rough and tumble, but she is still every bit a girl!

Read more...

SUGAR!

After teaching our marriage class last night, I said to the girls, "okay, it's clean up time and then we'll have cake."

E responds, "Cake I Love Sugar!!"

Read more...

Ask a Stupid Question...

Me to E as I help her get her sneakers on: "Do you like these shoes?"
E: "I like all my shoes..."

Yup, she's a woman.
Stupid me for asking such a dumb question.
DadFAIL

Read more...

Should have had boys

So at dinner I burped at the table.

All the girls: "EEEEWWWWWW"

Me: "Ok that's enough, I covered my mouth with the napkin"

S pointing: "that was you" [sometimes my strategy is to pass blame]

Me to wife: "I can't burp and I can't fart. I can't even be a man in my own home. I need my manhood."

E: "then you should have had boys"

dadFAIL

Read more...

Mom's Worth More than Dad

AJ called me at work today:

AJ: "Are you coming home from work early today?"
Me: "No, why, do you need it?"

AJ: "Well how do you start the grill?"
Me: "Is the gas on?"

AJ: "Yes, it won't start though"
Me: "Well sometimes the electric starter doesn't work maybe it's broken."

AJ: "That stinks"
Me: "Just get a lighter."

AJ: "What? And stick it down there?"
Me: "Yes, [we have a long neck lighter] just light it and stick it down there where the gas comes out. It will start."

AJ: with increasing hesitancy: "You just put it down there?"
Me: "Yes? Do you want me to come home and light it. That way you don't have to worry about blowing up."

AJ: "Yes, the kids need their mom."

dadFAIL

Read more...

Career choice has been found!

I think 'E' would make a great lawyer!

We spent the second half of lunch time today talking about how this one crayon (which looks orange in color to me) is not actually orange but peach. Then she went on to debate me and explained all her reasons why it is not orange but actually peach. She was quit convincing that I change my mind and told her she was right. (either that or I am just not in the mood for debate class today!)

Read more...

The Sink & Daddy: the Commonality

So E and I finished washing the dishes.

When we drained the sink, it made a really loud gurgling sound.

E: "What was that!?" --obviously thinking it sounded cool.

Me: "that was the sound of the sink draining."

E: "Cool, it sounded like burping and farting all in one."

Me: "So it sounded like daddy?"

E: "YEAH!"

Read more...

Life's hard

'E' turns to me and says, "I don't know what to do."

My usual response to this is, 'I'm not here to entertain you, so wipe down the cabinets, dust, or clean your room. There is plenty to do. If you have energy to whine, you have energy to help me clean.' They are reminded real quickly not to whine to mom about their boredom.

So today I thought, let's change it up and see what happens. So dramatically I said, "Wow, life is hard when you just don't know what to do!"

'E' replies seriously: yeah, it's real hard. I just don't know what to do.

(I should have stuck with my basic then at least something would have gotten cleaned.)

Read more...

Diaper Change

So I came home and decided to change M's diaper because she was a little damp. My wife says: "No I just changed her, she was a little damp because I forgot to change her all day [really: just before she went down for a nap]."

E who is always the literalist: "Yeah Mom didn't change her ALL day."

My wife to E: "You didn't either so I don't want to hear about it."

Well that ended that complaint.

Read more...

We are not so different

'E' turns to me in confusion and asks why 'L' said they were different?

'E' says, "we are not different. we are all in the same family."

ME: What was happening when 'L' said you were different.

'E': 'L' held my hand and said my hand was warm and hers was cold. But we are not different we are in the same family.

ME: yes, we are all the same as in we are all related, but we all look different and feel different. Like 'L' has short hair and you have long hair.

'E': I know, but 'S' has really short hair so she is really different.

(I don't think she got it)

Read more...