Holy Ghost

Nap time conversation with 3 year old about ghosts.

S: so the ghost got me my bed.

Me: A ghost?

S: yeah, he carried it on his back.

Me: who put the bed together?

S: the ghost

Me: There are no ghosts besides the holy ghost

S: a HOLY ghost?!

Me: yeah, the one that comes to live inside you when you accept Jesus as your Lord

S: so I have to eat him?

(Hahahahaha!)

Me: no.

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Thrown Under the Bus for a Blankie

S: "Daddy, can I bring my blankie downstairs?"
Me: "Sure"
5 min later AJ comes inside: "Get that blankie upstairs, you know you aren't allowed to have it down here."
S: "Daddy said so."
Me sensing I've been thrown under the bus: "Thanks Samantha, thanks a lot"
S: "Thank YOU Daddy."

dadFAIL

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I can read!

Me: "It's time to read our Bible devotions."
S (3yrs old): "Can I read them with you Dad?"
Me: "Honey, you don't know how to read."
S: "I can read!"
Me: "Really? Ok" pointing to the word 'Wednesday,' "What does this say?"
S: "There is a Y, W, D, A, S..." pausing to look at me, "SEE! Dad, I can read."

DadFAIL

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Adam & Eve's First Sin

Tonight we were reviewing the Catechism question:
Me: "Q.15: By what sin did our first parents fall from their original condition? in other words, how did they first sin?"
E (who is 5): "Um... they had kids..."

The fall: after kids it's all downhill.

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Who's a Mess?

Pointing at M, AJ says to me: "You can clean up that mess."
Me to M, with a big grin: "Who's a mess?"

M, who at 18 months doesn't say much, looks at me, points with her fork and says, "You"

dadFAIL

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Instruments used for heart attacks

On the way home from church our 5 year old 'E' asked.

"So how did you know that your dad died of a heart attack?"

Me: They use certain instruments to look at his heart.

'E': Instruments like a flute and drums?

ME: No. Not like that. Medical instruments honey. Special tools doctors use.

'E' oh.

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Who are you keeping out?

So we are upstairs putting laundry away, cleaning their rooms together when I went to put some things in the bathroom to discover the door is locked.

Me: Who locked the door?

E: Me

Me: Why?

E: So 'M' (our 18 month old) doesn't go in.

Me: Well, now none of us can get in. Need to think in through just a little more before you lock a door 'E'. You had the right idea, but just shutting the door would have worked fine.

sigh... paper clip in hand and ready to spend time trying to get a door opened.

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When Questions Overwhelm...

So lately our oldest L has been on this kick of asking all kinds of questions. Most of them have been word meanings or figures of speech. Today seemed like an unusual amount of questions and I just was a little tired of it. I honestly just got flustered. So this is how the conversation at dinner went:

AJ: "We have to clean the house tonight because if it is not cleaned I get overwhelmed when I see it the next day."

L: "What does overwhelmed mean?"

Me: "L, that's all you do right now is ask questions. It is getting annoying. That's all you do all the time. I'm tired of it. I'm going to buy you a dictionary for your birthday, then you can look up all these words so I don't have to answer your questions!"

AJ: "You know the questions are good because she wants to learn."

E chimes into the conversation: "What's a dictionary?"

dadFAIL

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God's Sovereignty... in Dirty Diapers

So for family devotions tonight we were reviewing the Westminster Shorter Catechism:

Q. 8. How doth God execute his decrees?
A. God executeth his decrees in the works of creation and providence

Tonight's discussion was on God's hand of providence. We talked about the life of Joseph and Genesis 50:20.

Genesis 50:20 As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.

After devotions:
Me: "L, does M need a diaper change? I think she stinks."
L: "No she's fine."
Me: "I can smell her from here." (I check) "Oh man, it's awful."

While changing her: "L, I should make you change this since you told me she didn't have one."
L: "Hey, it's not my fault, it was God's providence."

dadFAIL

Cross posted at The Voyages.

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18 month old prayers

Praying for lunch w/our 18 month old 'M' goes a little something like this:

Me: Dear Jesus

'M': DDDJJJJJJ

Me: We love you

'M': (puckers up and wants a kiss from me)

Me: Amen

'M': AAAHHHH! (pure excitement, she loves to eat)

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