A sample of today's speech by 3 yr old

S: Mom, I need more check-up

Me: Katchup?

S: yeah, it's in the chicken

Me: you mean Kitchen

S: That's what I said.

Read more...

Character or Lack Thereof

Tonight I tried to appeal to my character with my daughter.

L: "Is 'oh my gosh' a bad word because you just said it?"
Rather than give a simple yes or no, I tried to appeal to her on the basis of my character.
Me: "Well do you think if it was a bad word that I would have said it?"
L: "Yes"

dadFAIL

Read more...

A Logical Fallacy that Works on Kids

Me to kids: "If you don't eat your vegetables you won't get a super power."
Kids: "What?! That's not true."
Me: "Mommy doesn't eat vegetables, and mommy doesn't have a super power. Therefore, if you don't eat your vegetables you won't get a super power."
dadWIN

Read more...

Because there'd be a boy...

This is how a conversation unfolded with my oldest:


L: "Daddy, I am 16 going on 17."
Me: "No you're not" (she's 8)
L: "I know but I wish I was."
Me: "I don't"
L: "Why not?"
Me: "Because that would mean there would be a boy 18 going on 19."

Read more...

Figures of Speech

Me to 1 of the kids: "Don't push your luck."
her: "What does that mean?"
Me: "It means don't tempt fate."
her: "What does that mean?"
Me, toying with her: "It means be careful b/c you're on thin ice."
her: "What does THAT mean?"
dadFAIL

Read more...

Donuts?! Where's my Party?

While out with the two youngest:
Me: "Do you want a surprise?"
Girls: "YEAH!"
S (3 yrs old): "Like a party?!"
Me: "A surprise is like a party. Can you guess where we are going to go?"

After giving some hints, we arrive at Dunkin' Donuts. We order donuts.
5 minutes later after S is halfway through her donut: "There's no party here; we need to go where there is a party."
Me: "But this is your surprise. Daddy bought you a donut."
S: "Yeah, but there's no party here."

On the way home: "Are we going to a party now?"

Some days you just can't win.

dadFAIL

Read more...

Holy Ghost

Nap time conversation with 3 year old about ghosts.

S: so the ghost got me my bed.

Me: A ghost?

S: yeah, he carried it on his back.

Me: who put the bed together?

S: the ghost

Me: There are no ghosts besides the holy ghost

S: a HOLY ghost?!

Me: yeah, the one that comes to live inside you when you accept Jesus as your Lord

S: so I have to eat him?

(Hahahahaha!)

Me: no.

Read more...

Thrown Under the Bus for a Blankie

S: "Daddy, can I bring my blankie downstairs?"
Me: "Sure"
5 min later AJ comes inside: "Get that blankie upstairs, you know you aren't allowed to have it down here."
S: "Daddy said so."
Me sensing I've been thrown under the bus: "Thanks Samantha, thanks a lot"
S: "Thank YOU Daddy."

dadFAIL

Read more...

I can read!

Me: "It's time to read our Bible devotions."
S (3yrs old): "Can I read them with you Dad?"
Me: "Honey, you don't know how to read."
S: "I can read!"
Me: "Really? Ok" pointing to the word 'Wednesday,' "What does this say?"
S: "There is a Y, W, D, A, S..." pausing to look at me, "SEE! Dad, I can read."

DadFAIL

Read more...

Adam & Eve's First Sin

Tonight we were reviewing the Catechism question:
Me: "Q.15: By what sin did our first parents fall from their original condition? in other words, how did they first sin?"
E (who is 5): "Um... they had kids..."

The fall: after kids it's all downhill.

Read more...