Last night E was singing while she was flossing her teeth. So from the other room I say, "You can't floss your teeth and sing at the same time."
L, our astute second grader, realizing she can do it says, "Yes she can."
"Ok but she may not."
My second grader knows the difference between cannot and may not-- I however did not make myself clear.
dadFAIL
Just a few days ago I caught my daughter 'S' yelling "HELLO" into the toilet bowl.
E shouting across the house: "MOM!!!! I've got a boogie!"
L: "It's not a boogie, it's a bogie"
Boogie: Slang Dried nasal mucus
Bogie: Slang something a fighter pilot shoots down.
Heard 'M' give a cry. I wonder why for she should be asleep, so I go up and check on her and here she just discovered that there is a flower on her shirt. She is trying to pull it forward to look at it better, but can't, so as she pulls harder she starts to fall backwards. I then did what any good mother does.... ran to get the camera, but missed it. She is now laying down for nap. :(
Read more...Like any good couple my wife and I had trouble decided on a name for this blog.
AJ: "Don't you think we should choose a gender neutral name so that it appeals to both genders?"
T: "Don't you think women like to see their men FAIL?"
AJ: "Well when you put it that way...."
Sometime winning the battle is losing the war.
husbandFAIL
AJ to 'E': "Next week you have a makeup dance practice because it was canceled because of the snow."
'E' You can not wear a short sleeve shirt, it is winter wear a long sleeve shirt.
Lunch Time Teachable Moments brought to you by 'S':
S takes a pretzel and says, looks like a basket. Me: Yeah? Who is in the basket? S:baby boy. Me: That's right, it's baby Moses. 'S' breaks a piece off, S: now it's a monster... aaahhhh.... Me: Okay teachable moment is over.
'S' spilled her water while brushing her teeth and started to cry. Me being the sensitive Dad that I am, helped her get a rag and told her gently with a warm voice to clean it up, helping her by doing it with her. Then I comfortingly added: "See now, was that worth crying about?" 'S', in a moaning wimper: "yeah!" DadFAIL
Read more...middle two kids fighting upstairs after dinner. Me: "They are fighting" AJ: "If somebody falls down and breaks their arm, I'm not running them to the hospital." Me franticly to upstairs: "STOP FIGHTING!!!" husbandFAIL
Read more...Sitting on the couch, 'S' comes back from lunch: 'S': "MY SEAT," Tim:"How about you ask me to move, so you can sit?" S: "No" dadFAIL
Read more...AJ: "When you take the trash out, can you shake off my rugs?" Me: "Really?" AJ: "It's doesn't have to be perfect... I've learned not to expect it." LOLs; husbandFAIL
Read more...'S' comes to me for chapstick this morning: S: "Daddy ipstick?" T: "Ok" there are three on the top shelf, I pull one down. S: "No, that Lizabet" Pull down a second, S: "No, not mine" Finally with the third: "that mine." What's it gonna be like when they have real makeup? DadFAIL
Read more...My heart just skipped a beat: in the middle of Sleeping Beauty, 3 year old 'S' looked at me a said, "Daddy, I wanna watch space ship" (i.e. Star Trek) DadWIN
Read more...My wife says to me: "If you need more dad fails, you should stick around more and let me leave." husbandFAIL
Read more...Me: "What did you guys do today?" 5 year old 'E': "At church we played spin the Bo....[heart stops; adrenaline rushes]... bah-locks and knock them down." dadFAIL
Read more...S just asked me "Daddy can I have my pillow pet?" --since it was sitting on the bed behind me, I just figured she left it there so I reach over and grab it... AJ: "Why did you give that to her? She was being punished?" dadFAIL, husbandFAIL
Read more...
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