So my wife and I are in a silly mood, which involves some teasing. She didn't get much sleep, so that means she laughs at everything and is jovial until she crashes later in the day.
She teased me and I got a good nature ribbing back.
After one zinger, she playfully whacked me with a rolled up magazine.
S happened to see it: "Hey, Mom! Don't hit Dad."
AJ: "Daddy was mean to Mommy."
S: "Oh. Ok then"
dadFAIL
Tonight I tried to appeal to my character with my daughter.
L: "Is 'oh my gosh' a bad word because you just said it?"
Rather than give a simple yes or no, I tried to appeal to her on the basis of my character.
Me: "Well do you think if it was a bad word that I would have said it?"
L: "Yes"
dadFAIL
Me to kids: "If you don't eat your vegetables you won't get a super power."
Kids: "What?! That's not true."
Me: "Mommy doesn't eat vegetables, and mommy doesn't have a super power. Therefore, if you don't eat your vegetables you won't get a super power."
dadWIN
This is how a conversation unfolded with my oldest:
L: "Daddy, I am 16 going on 17."
Me: "No you're not" (she's 8)
L: "I know but I wish I was."
Me: "I don't"
L: "Why not?"
Me: "Because that would mean there would be a boy 18 going on 19."
Me to 1 of the kids: "Don't push your luck."
her: "What does that mean?"
Me: "It means don't tempt fate."
her: "What does that mean?"
Me, toying with her: "It means be careful b/c you're on thin ice."
her: "What does THAT mean?"
dadFAIL
While out with the two youngest:
Me: "Do you want a surprise?"
Girls: "YEAH!"
S (3 yrs old): "Like a party?!"
Me: "A surprise is like a party. Can you guess where we are going to go?"
After giving some hints, we arrive at Dunkin' Donuts. We order donuts.
5 minutes later after S is halfway through her donut: "There's no party here; we need to go where there is a party."
Me: "But this is your surprise. Daddy bought you a donut."
S: "Yeah, but there's no party here."
On the way home: "Are we going to a party now?"
Nap time conversation with 3 year old about ghosts.
S: "Daddy, can I bring my blankie downstairs?"
Me: "Sure"
5 min later AJ comes inside: "Get that blankie upstairs, you know you aren't allowed to have it down here."
S: "Daddy said so."
Me sensing I've been thrown under the bus: "Thanks Samantha, thanks a lot"
S: "Thank YOU Daddy."
dadFAIL
Me: "It's time to read our Bible devotions."
S (3yrs old): "Can I read them with you Dad?"
Me: "Honey, you don't know how to read."
S: "I can read!"
Me: "Really? Ok" pointing to the word 'Wednesday,' "What does this say?"
S: "There is a Y, W, D, A, S..." pausing to look at me, "SEE! Dad, I can read."
DadFAIL
Tonight we were reviewing the Catechism question:
Me: "Q.15: By what sin did our first parents fall from their original condition? in other words, how did they first sin?"
E (who is 5): "Um... they had kids..."
The fall: after kids it's all downhill.
Pointing at M, AJ says to me: "You can clean up that mess."
Me to M, with a big grin: "Who's a mess?"
M, who at 18 months doesn't say much, looks at me, points with her fork and says, "You"
dadFAIL
On the way home from church our 5 year old 'E' asked.
So we are upstairs putting laundry away, cleaning their rooms together when I went to put some things in the bathroom to discover the door is locked.
So for family devotions tonight we were reviewing the Westminster Shorter Catechism:
Q. 8. How doth God execute his decrees?
A. God executeth his decrees in the works of creation and providence
Genesis 50:20 As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.After devotions:
Praying for lunch w/our 18 month old 'M' goes a little something like this:
So I went in to get the 2 younger girls up from their naps. I went into 'S' room first. Woke her up and asked her if she had a good nap. Here is her response. "No, I need to do it again."
When I went to get 'S' up from her nap I did not notice till we got outside that she had some gum in her mouth.
'E' and I were sitting on the 2 seater swing and she was turned facing the neighbors yard. They had several older kids playing and she just kept watching them. So I said, "'E' you shouldn't be staring."
Yesterday when L was told not to do something she went off sulking.
Me: "L, are you sulking?"
L: "What's sulking?"
Me: "Its when you go off and pout?"
L: "What's pout?"
Me: "When you are brooding."
L: "What is brooding?"
DadFAIL
So after the girls and I were done saying our evening prayers together. I gave them all a kiss goodnight. 'L' asks: Mom why don't you kiss on the lips?
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| Testing the Hypothesis |
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| Yummy! |
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| Everybody loves Rice Crispy treats! |
E: "Dad look at my little caterpillar." Shows him to me crawling on her hand.
Me because we have to go run errands: "Wow, that's nice. Now, E go inside and was your hands, you were playing in the dirt"
E goes inside, washes hands, comes back out.
E: "Dad, I can't find my caterpillar, I took him upstair, but now he fell off and I can't find him."
DadFAIL
Our younger 3 children fight over who gets to clean. Everything from vacuuming to cleaning the bathrooms! I am feeling so blessed right now. Thank You Lord for their servant attitudes. Please don't let it leave them EVER so that one day they may bless others. Until then, I will dwell in your blessings! Praise Him whom all blessing flow!
Read more...I have been teaching "M' who is now 15 months old how to bat her eyes. It is so cute and hilarious to see her try. Well, now I might be regretting that. She walked up to me today and started poking my eye until I realized that she was batting her eyes, and wanted me to do it along with her! Oops.
Read more...So 'E' came to me and asked if playing a princess game would be fun.
Cleaning up from dinner M (1 yr old) decided to hold up her placemat, dumping crumbs on the table.
Me: "M put your placemat down."
She promptly turns, hangs it over the floor and goes to put it down.
dadFAIL
So here was my bible analogy this morning. My daughter 'L' was making her lunch when I asked her if she packed a sandwich yet.
During dinner tonight we were discussing why a person usually knows more than a younger person. 'E' states: "Yeah, that is why Mommy and Daddy know almost everything they are older, right Mom?" Me: Yeah, almost.
Read more...Today's lunch we were having celery. As I was washing the celery off 'E' says:
My oldest daughter (who is 7.5) told me during dinner that I am her best friend! It gets better... friends were telling her things and she told her friends that she was going to share with me and that I would also keep their secrets because I'm her best friend! How sweet is that!
Read more...So I walked up behind E and poked her just to be silly. A conversation ensued:
E: "Dad!!!"
Me: "What? Why do you blame me? How do you know it was me?"
E: "I saw you, I have two eyes. If Mom has like a million eyes because when she's doing something she can still see me, then I can see you."
S got up from the dinner table. She's supposed to ask before she gets down.
Got to the living room and then she remember:
S: "Dad, can I get up?"
Better late than never?
childFAIL
The kids were playing Wii.
E: "L, do you know why their is scary music?"
L: "Why?"
E: "Because you're at a scary place."
It's Mario Party 8.
Here are some thoughts that came up during lunch:
Today as we sit down for lunch I asked the girls what we should talk about and so I suggested that reflecting on how are day has been so far maybe we should talk about our attitudes or about how we are to be obedient as unto the Lord.
E: I have 2 combs
After teaching our marriage class last night, I said to the girls, "okay, it's clean up time and then we'll have cake."
Me to E as I help her get her sneakers on: "Do you like these shoes?"
E: "I like all my shoes..."
Yup, she's a woman.
Stupid me for asking such a dumb question.
DadFAIL
AJ called me at work today:
AJ: "Are you coming home from work early today?"
Me: "No, why, do you need it?"
AJ: "Well how do you start the grill?"
Me: "Is the gas on?"
AJ: "Yes, it won't start though"
Me: "Well sometimes the electric starter doesn't work maybe it's broken."
AJ: "That stinks"
Me: "Just get a lighter."
AJ: "What? And stick it down there?"
Me: "Yes, [we have a long neck lighter] just light it and stick it down there where the gas comes out. It will start."
AJ: with increasing hesitancy: "You just put it down there?"
Me: "Yes? Do you want me to come home and light it. That way you don't have to worry about blowing up."
AJ: "Yes, the kids need their mom."
dadFAIL
I think 'E' would make a great lawyer!
So E and I finished washing the dishes.
When we drained the sink, it made a really loud gurgling sound.
E: "What was that!?" --obviously thinking it sounded cool.
Me: "that was the sound of the sink draining."
E: "Cool, it sounded like burping and farting all in one."
Me: "So it sounded like daddy?"
E: "YEAH!"
'E' turns to me and says, "I don't know what to do."
'E' turns to me in confusion and asks why 'L' said they were different?
'E' states during lunch time today that 'vacerated' is a word because it has letter's in it.
'E' and 'S' were fighting, and this is how it went:
'S' comes over to me and says, Mommy this is Cinderella" (pointing to the sticker she got from the doc. office today) I looked at the sticker and said, No that is Snow White. 'S' then looks at me and then looks back at the sticker and says w/a confused expression on her face, "yeah, Cinderella!?!" Oh, I must have forgotten that ALL princesses no matter who they are, are called Cinderella's. Silly Me.
Read more...We have cough & colds going through the house.
Tonight E said "Maybe I shouldn't play Wii, I have a cold."
I don't know we may have to run to the ER; it could be more serious than we thought. ;-)
This morning 'E' comes down with all the laundry and heads to the living room singing,
During dinner while my hubby & I were talking I see 'S' flapping her arms yelling, "AWW-AWW"
Tonight, L, our oldest daughter asks: "Can we watch Star Trek IV?"
Me: "Sure honey"
L: "That's Mrs. G's [teacher at school] favorite Star Trek. She says it has whales in it and they have to bring the whales back to the future." Pauses. "What does that [back to the future] mean?"
Me: "Well in the movie, they travel back in time to around the time daddy was a little boy [mid-1980s]..."
L: "WHHHOAAAA!!!!!!"
dadFAIL
My daughter just told me 'You are not my mother'
Since I have four girls, I got them each something for Valentine Days. You know, trying to be the good Dad and teach them how men should treat their ladies, even from a young age.
So last night I set out the little card, ballon and stuff animal with candy that I had gotten them.
This morning they were all excited to see what the got. Of course, they were up and at the breakfast table before I was ready to get out of bed.
S asked me to come and read her card. I was all excited, turning 3 this month this was the first time she was actually interested in reading the card. In the middle of me reading the sweet little note she looks up at me: "Dad, you smell."
Happy Valentine's Day to you too.
dadFAIL
This month 2 out of our 4 children will have b-days. You can really see the difference between a 1 yr. old 'M' celebrating from our 2 going on 3 yr. old celebrating. Our 2 year old 'S' is SO excited about her sisters birthday and knows her b-day is coming. As we sing, 'S' decided she just can't wait, so she blows out the candle before we even finish the song. Pure excitement for birthdays!
Read more...I was trying to trim my 4 yr. olds hair this evening, I needed to find something at her height to look at to stay still. Needless to say it was the hole that is in the curtain in our livingroom. So we started talking about curtains and how we need new ones. She stated that they should be princess ones. I looked at her and asked if Daddy would like that. Her response, "Well, Daddy can have star trek curtains on the smaller window and we can have princess ones on the really big windows."
My 4 yr. old daughter said I was still 20! This is a happy day for mom!
Read more...
You know you're a mom when you analyze the Barbie doll a little too closely
I gave our 4 yr. old a used Wendy's gift card. She looks it over and asks what the numbers are for on the card. I told her that every card comes with numbers. She turns to me and says, 'Mom, cards can't have numbers they don't talk!' Had to clarify the difference between phone numbers and card numbers. Don't think I should have to do this at 4 years of age! They are growing up way to quickly these days.
Read more...Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."
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| "Does Mom know I'm watching this?" |
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| "That's a big ship" |
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| "I want one" |
This is how our soon-to-be 3 year old 'S' asks for water during a meal:
The other day my 4 year old 'E' was coloring at the kitchen table. I was in the adjacent room listening to iTunes music. She says to me: "Dad, would you keep it down, I NEED to focus."
My baby took her first step this morning! With her 1 year birthday approaching, this year seems to have flown by us so quickly.
Read more...Last night E was singing while she was flossing her teeth. So from the other room I say, "You can't floss your teeth and sing at the same time."
L, our astute second grader, realizing she can do it says, "Yes she can."
"Ok but she may not."
My second grader knows the difference between cannot and may not-- I however did not make myself clear.
dadFAIL
Just a few days ago I caught my daughter 'S' yelling "HELLO" into the toilet bowl.
E shouting across the house: "MOM!!!! I've got a boogie!"
L: "It's not a boogie, it's a bogie"
Boogie: Slang Dried nasal mucus
Bogie: Slang something a fighter pilot shoots down.
Heard 'M' give a cry. I wonder why for she should be asleep, so I go up and check on her and here she just discovered that there is a flower on her shirt. She is trying to pull it forward to look at it better, but can't, so as she pulls harder she starts to fall backwards. I then did what any good mother does.... ran to get the camera, but missed it. She is now laying down for nap. :(
Read more...Like any good couple my wife and I had trouble decided on a name for this blog.
AJ: "Don't you think we should choose a gender neutral name so that it appeals to both genders?"
T: "Don't you think women like to see their men FAIL?"
AJ: "Well when you put it that way...."
Sometime winning the battle is losing the war.
husbandFAIL
AJ to 'E': "Next week you have a makeup dance practice because it was canceled because of the snow."
'E' You can not wear a short sleeve shirt, it is winter wear a long sleeve shirt.
Lunch Time Teachable Moments brought to you by 'S':
S takes a pretzel and says, looks like a basket. Me: Yeah? Who is in the basket? S:baby boy. Me: That's right, it's baby Moses. 'S' breaks a piece off, S: now it's a monster... aaahhhh.... Me: Okay teachable moment is over.
'S' spilled her water while brushing her teeth and started to cry. Me being the sensitive Dad that I am, helped her get a rag and told her gently with a warm voice to clean it up, helping her by doing it with her. Then I comfortingly added: "See now, was that worth crying about?" 'S', in a moaning wimper: "yeah!" DadFAIL
Read more...middle two kids fighting upstairs after dinner. Me: "They are fighting" AJ: "If somebody falls down and breaks their arm, I'm not running them to the hospital." Me franticly to upstairs: "STOP FIGHTING!!!" husbandFAIL
Read more...Sitting on the couch, 'S' comes back from lunch: 'S': "MY SEAT," Tim:"How about you ask me to move, so you can sit?" S: "No" dadFAIL
Read more...AJ: "When you take the trash out, can you shake off my rugs?" Me: "Really?" AJ: "It's doesn't have to be perfect... I've learned not to expect it." LOLs; husbandFAIL
Read more...'S' comes to me for chapstick this morning: S: "Daddy ipstick?" T: "Ok" there are three on the top shelf, I pull one down. S: "No, that Lizabet" Pull down a second, S: "No, not mine" Finally with the third: "that mine." What's it gonna be like when they have real makeup? DadFAIL
Read more...My heart just skipped a beat: in the middle of Sleeping Beauty, 3 year old 'S' looked at me a said, "Daddy, I wanna watch space ship" (i.e. Star Trek) DadWIN
Read more...My wife says to me: "If you need more dad fails, you should stick around more and let me leave." husbandFAIL
Read more...Me: "What did you guys do today?" 5 year old 'E': "At church we played spin the Bo....[heart stops; adrenaline rushes]... bah-locks and knock them down." dadFAIL
Read more...S just asked me "Daddy can I have my pillow pet?" --since it was sitting on the bed behind me, I just figured she left it there so I reach over and grab it... AJ: "Why did you give that to her? She was being punished?" dadFAIL, husbandFAIL
Read more...
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